Tuesday, 4 July 2017

Please Don't Judge My Parenting!

I think I’m a pretty easy going person. Those who know me would agree. I’m pleasant to be around, easy to work with, supportive when I need to be & a good friend.  I say this because I think they are important qualities to have & I value them when I meet others who share them with me. The last thing I ever want to do is hurt someone by something I say.

Which brings me to the topic I want to discuss …

Honestly, I truly do not understand why people, mostly women, feel the need to judge other women when it comes to parenting. I do not understand the purpose of it nor do I see the reward in comparing parenting skills & making judgments about others. It bothers me when women do this to each other because I think it’s hurtful and wrong.

It happens all the time.

No one knows your children like you do. No one lives with you around the clock to see what goes on in your house like you do.  No one has the right to tell you you’re parenting incorrectly or make judgmental comments about the way you teach, discipline & interact with your children. Your children are no one’s business but yours. (Unless you’re neglecting or physically abusing them – that’s different.)

End of story.

It doesn’t happen often to me. Thankfully, in fact, it is quite rare. Nonetheless, every now & then, I’ll be out with my children bouncing, distracting, warning, counting to three & trying to appear sane. My number one goal is getting from point A to point B with the least amount of failing, zig-zagging, & whining as possible when a stranger pops out of nowhere to criticize my parenting.

My most recent encounter with a disapproving outsider was certainly more of a passive-aggressive demonstration of disapproval than anything else. Though, I’ve also experienced the anything else.

Today I took Isaac out in the pram for our daily power walk (great exercise for busy Mum's!) which 9/10 ends with me taking him to the park to explore around, stretch is little legs & have a play in the swings. 

We had only ventured out for a mere 5 minutes when some stranger lady with a child of her own was crossing paths with us, this particular Mum gave me a very disapproving look (I was completely puzzled by this, so just gave my awkward smile of acknowledgment, as you do.) As she started to walk past us she muttered loud enough for me to hear, 'that's good Parenting ignoring your own child!'

I stopped in my tracks a little, I was going to turn around & give her 2 barrels worth! But I didn't I kept my cool, bit my tongue & carried on walking. Her only reason that I can think of for her to even come out with such a horrid remark, was that I was wearing headphones, just the one & on low, so I had a beat to power walk to, but just the one so I can still interact with my 11 month old in the pram. Not that I feel the need to justify myself, because I know i wasn't doing anything wrong & in no way shape or form had I or would I ever ignore my children!

So Mums out there, think before you talk. If you genuinely care & want to help someone by offering advice of your own, be sensitive in the way you share it. You are not the Mum of all Mums, the specialist Mum, the be all & end all of the Mum world. You are no different than any other woman out there who is trying their best to raise their children. If you’re genuine in wanting to help … just be nice.

And that, my Mum friends, is where I stand.

Instead of tearing each other down, let's start building each other up ❤️️


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