Wednesday, 20 September 2017

15 Things That Happen When You're Having A Kickass SAHM Day

Not very often but sometimes, Stay-At-Home-Moms totally slay their day. Here is what happens when you’re a total stay-at-home #BossMom

1. You wake up to the sound of your actual alarm rather than the sound of one or all of your kids screaming/crying/being absolutely distraught that they lost a sock.

2. You have coffee pods, milk AND sugar in your kitchen & no one has to do a 7:10am dash to the local Budgens for emergency breakfast supplies.

3. You get to drink your perfectly made cup of coffee HOT, whilst watching Good Morning Britain, in relative peace; rather than the tepid concoction you normally gulp down in the middle of breaking up a cereal fight among the feral children.

4. All the kids are settled watching CBeebies/NickJr/Ryan’s Toy Reviews (see YouTube) giving you 20 whole minutes to get dressed. You’re so impressed with how the day is going, you even wing on some lippy #Winning

5. Everyone leaves the house ON TIME. No one is missing a sock/book bag/limb or £1 donation for the PTA fundraiser. You walk the school run (where it isn’t raining!) like an urber #bossmom and even get complimented on your lippy. Today is a good day.

6. After popping to the shop to pick up everything you normally forget, you get home & prepare dinner for the evening. You even enjoy ANOTHER hot cup of coffee.

7. You realise the house isn’t actually that messy (huh? Has the hubby finally learned to pick up his boxers off the bathroom floor?) so the housework takes precisely 15 minutes. Leaving more time for another HOT COFFEE & a sneaky catch up of The Great British Bake-Off.

8. The baby is being unusually happy playing solo with the toy kitchen/wooden blocks/random raisins he found under the couch – so you spend a whole hour online-window-shopping (adding stuff to multiple baskets despite never actually hitting the checkout button) for tat you absolutely do not need but definitely want. You’re feeling in such a good mood that you eventually treat yourself to a new mug from Matalan.

9. The baby takes a nap at 12:30pm (#winning) so you take a nap too (#doublewinning)

10. You wake feeling refreshed (that never happens) with plenty of time for a hot coffee before the school run pick up. The baby is still snoozing.

11. The School run is a breeze; Another compliment on the lippy (that is still in place) it isn’t raining, children come out of school happy rather than shit-moody with NO letters asking for a £1 donation to another PTA fundraiser. 

12. Your other half surprises you by coming home early. At 4:00pm

13. Everyone eats their dinner without a mini war breaking out/moaning about the veg/or throwing a hissy-fit over your choice of glass for the squash. 

14. Hubby takes over bath-book-bed. And pours you a large glass of wine. And runs you a bath, complete with a bath bomb/bubble bar combo (And some tea-lights)

15. Children are asleep by 18:45. You are now seriously #winning at Mum life. You continue watching Suits on Netflix but because you’re feeling super productive (& empowered) you invite the hubby upstairs for sexy time. This. Is. The. LIFE!

16. You wake up at 5:23am to the baby crying & the middle child whinging that she can't fall back to sleep, then realise all of the above was just a cruel dream sent from Lucifer himself. There is no milk. You do a 7:10am dash to the local Budgens to get emergency breakfast supplies, the school run is a shit-show & absolutely no one takes a nap at any point whatsoever during the day. Lifesuckers, I know (sigh).

Gemma Xx


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