Thursday, 1 November 2018

Learn To Forgive Yourself Mama

This one got his first proper goose egg head injury today😩 a result of running one way & looking the other, despite telling him over & over he was going to end up hurting himself🙈

We went off out for our usual after lunch walk which always ends with a play at our local park, he was on the play apparatus & I was circling around helping when needed, when he just got up & shot off like a lightening bolt & seemed to develop a bad case of selective hearing at the same time🙄

I could see it was about to happen, it was a proper heart in throat moment, I could see his fall playing in slow motion right in front of my eyes, but I still just was not quick enough to catch him. He fell right off the side of the play apparatus, head first into the ground... SMACK!😵 then came the scream that goes straight through you making all your hairs stand on end.. Oh that scream! Isn’t it just the worst sound to a Mother’s ears?!😱

After lots of cuddles he seemed to get over it pretty quickly & wanted to carry on as normal, which is obviously a very good sign & after checking him over, other than the huge lump & bruise, he seemed okay, no real damage done... phew! It just looks worse than what it actually is😪

That of course didn’t stop the #mumguilt thoughts creeping in- ‘What if I had done this or not done that?’ ‘What if I was a little firmer with him when he wasn’t listening?’ You know the drill, right?! Just over analysing everything, questioning every little detail; which is actually the worst thing you can do, because it makes you feel like SHIT! Like you failed as a Mother. Which of course is absurd, but you just can’t help having those thoughts can you? It’s very common for us parents to feel a great sense of blame & guilt after one of our babies have been injured😖

I’ve come to realise that we as parents need to teach ourselves to forgive. To forgive ourselves (& others) & to move on is a challenge for many Mums. We hold on to the pain & beat ourselves up for the mistakes & missteps we make in our parenting. But if we can just forgive & rid ourselves of Mum Guilt, move on from what ever it was that made us feel guilty in the first place, we would feel so much happier, wouldn’t we?! We can trust ourselves to learn from our past mistakes & accidents without paying the price with our happiness🧡

So today I’m sticking my two fingers up at Mum Guilt with a sense of relief, because today Mum Guilt did not beat me, today Mum Guilt did not win🖕🏼😅


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